The Legacy of Mewtwo
by killeralchemist747
Summary: The movie got it wrong.  Mewtwo took a five year detour during his journey away from the lab.  These are the lost years.  Humorous story.
1. Chapter 1

The Legacy of Mewtwo

_Prologue_

_Giovanni looked at his scientists' creation in despair. The nerve of these people! He had quite specifically requested a massive dragon with an obviously unnecessary number of spikes, claws, and other vicious fighting tools, but what had they given him? A freak! This thing looked like some mouse/dog/human and it was freaking purple! He had requested black and yellow(after his favorite song) but noooooo, they just had to make it purple. And it was a psychic Pokémon. Giovanni hated psychic Pokémon with all his heart, although that was just because no matter how many times he had tried, he just couldn't beat Will of the Elite Four. _

_Suddenly, the freak stirred._

Chapter One

(which follows a ridiculously short prologue, and should probably be part of the prologue, but who cares about that anyway?)

Mewtwo hated Mondays. And that was kind of odd because it was Friday, and he had been created just two days ago. But he was reasonably sure that Monday was a bad day. He shifted, and then winced as he felt a bunch of sharp objects sticking into him in places where the sun don't shine. He looked around, only to see nothing but orange goo and a bunch of wires connected to him.

"He's moving! Oh mah Arceus, we actually did it! I never thought we'd actually be able to make something!" Came a high-pitched squeal. Mewtwo looked around crossly to see where the ear-splitting noise was coming from. A quick look around the room revealed an odd shaped blur-oh wait, everything was blurred through the glass cylinder. He stopped though, at the sound of another voice.

"You guys suck. I told you to create a super dragon with a pointless amount of spikes, claws, and other vicious fighting tools, but no, you just had to make the mouse/dog/human freak that doesn't look like it could hurt a fly. I mean, I had such high hopes for this pro…"

The voice trailed off as Mewtwo chose this moment to figure out how to use his powers. Unfortunately, he couldn't use them very well. Where he had just wanted to teleport out of there, he ended up blasting the cylinder and the goo around him to pieces. All the sharp needles were blown away in the psychic explosion. A bit surprised at the effect, he looked around, mouth opened to give out an apology, when for some reason there was another explosion. This one flattened the lab and mad a nice sized crater in the island. An onlooker might have seen two figures flying away towards the mainland, along with a Persian.

Mewtwo frowned as he looked around him. _Okay,_ he thought, _I definitely did not mean to do that._ Oh well, it was too late now. The lab was scattered around him in pieces, and there was smoke all over. He shook his head again, and then he figured out how to teleport. This time he didn't fail.

**Just outside of Littleroot Town, Hoenn**

Mewtwo looked around him. For some reason, he knew where he was, but he had yet to figure out what the location meant. To the south of him, there appeared to be a village, where a crowd was gathered around a big white building. A man in a white suit not unlike those he had seen at the other lab opened the door. Mewtwo hissed under his breath. He had decided, it his confused mind, that white suits were what the enemy wore. So, still standing in plain sight, he glared furiously at the man.

A few minutes later, shorter humans started filing out of the building. Each held a shiny red and white sphere proudly, along with an assortment of other stuff that they couldn't find room for in their tiny backpacks. One specific one, a boy with what looked like white hair, charged out onto the path recklessly. Not watching where he was going, he slammed headfirst into Mewtwo. Both collapsed in a tangled heap on the ground. Not even saying sorry, the boy leapt up and was about to run on when he saw what he had crashed into. His eyes widened as he pulled out a pokedex, which somehow managed to pull out confidential files that only Team Rocket had possessed. **Mewtwo, the DNA Pokémon. Mewtwo is a genetic mutation of the legendary Pokémon Mew. However, it's ridiculously powerful, so you better run for your life brat!** Mewtwo took these words to heart, and charged off in the opposite direction.

Brenden stood there for a moment. "Ridiculously powerful? I'm gonna catch it! Go pokeball!" The kid threw the red and white sphere in his hand. "Go Torchic!" The ball hit Mewtwo in the head and sucked him in. It rolled around a bit before clicking shut. **What the **** you actually caught it? Quick, let it go! This is a catastrophe that has never before occurred, except in every game of Pokémon. Wait, this is a game. Never mind. **Brenden scratched his head. "I thought that was Torchic's ball. **Wait, it only has one of them?** The perverted comment passed right over the innocent ten-year-old's head. "Oh well," he said.

Brenden picked up the ball and went onward with his journey. Not two steps later, he got mugged by three men in blue clothes. The middle one, who was kind of fat, stepped forward and said, "We're Team Aqua, and our goal is to eliminate all fire Pokémon. You started with a Torchic, hand it over!"

"No way!" Brenden said as he threw out Torchic's pokeball. Torchic popped out with a friendly chirp. The three grunts rolled their eyes and tossed out their own Pokémon. In a relatively short amount of time, Torchic was lying face-down in a puddle of blood, surrounded by three massive Mightyena. Brenden said, "You may have beat Torchic, but you don't stand a chance against my next Pokémon!" He threw out Mewtwo's pokeball. The grunts looked puzzled. "Whazzat?" The third one mumbled drunkenly. "This is Mewtwo, the genetically created, super powerful Mewtwo!"

"Never heard of it. Mightyena, crunch!" All at once, the Mightyena struck out with crunch attacks. A thoroughly bewildered Mewtwo yelped in pain as their powerful jaws closed around his arms and legs.

Brenden pulled out his pokedex again. **I'm guessing you want to know Mewtwo's attacks right? **Sighing, it pulled up a list on the screen. Well, not really a list, since it only had one move: Psychic Blast

"Cool! Mewtwo, use psychic blast!"

A pained Mewtwo could only obey, and it let loose another massive blast of psychic energy. While the Mightyena were unaffected by the psychic energy, the massive explosion that it caused ripped them free of Mewtwo's now thoroughly bloody arms and threw them across the clearing. Once the smoke cleared, the victor was clear: Mewtwo stood at the center of yet another crater in the ground. Unfortunately, the blast had also blown Brenden back a dozen feet. He sat up, his white hair smoking, and said, "That was wicked awesome!"

Mewtwo frowned as it crossed its now conveniently healed arms and looked critically at the ten-year old who was now his master. He couldn't help but wince when he noticed the obvious signs of idiocy on the boys face. The Pokémon sighed, he would just have to deal with it. He walked over to his trainer. The boy didn't seem to notice, instead he stared off into space, daydreaming of winning the Pokémon league with his new Pokémon. Mewtwo snapped his fingers in front of Brenden's eyes, bringing the boy back to life.

Brenden looked at the purple Pokémon. "C'mon," He said excitedly. "Onward to Odale Town."

Mewtwo followed his hyperactive trainer down the path. "Ummm, I think that goes back to where you just came from."

Brenden whirled back to the other direction. "I knew that! I'm going to pick up my best friend." And with that, the scatterbrained child turned back to Littleroot yet again. Mewtwo sighed and kept walking with him. There was one thing on his mind though:

This was going to be a very long journey.

**A/N I'm writing this one alongside a very dark fic, so this is going to be very light and playful. I don't care what you think of it, so you're perfectly welcome to flame me. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Well I actually dropped the dark fic before I even published it. It's just not my style. I also raised the rating to T. I have decided to write mostly crack-fics and parodies, only because I'm apparently good at them.**

**Warning: Much Idiocy**

"Psst," Came a noise out of a nearby alleyway. Brenden whirled around and looked in the opposite direction. Somewhat confused, he stared out into the open field. Mewtwo rolled his eyes and spun him back to face the alleyway. He squinted really hard, barely making out the figure in the darkness.

"Hey kid, want to have a good day?"

"Do I ever!" Brenden squealed girlishly as he glomped the man. The poor guy let out a yell of surprise as Brenden leapt back. "But I'm already having a good day…"

"Don't worry, for just $500 I'll give you this magical white sugar that you eat through your nose."

"Oh why thank you! I've always wanted to be scammed!" With that, Brenden pulled out his wallet, handing all of his money to the man. Then he grabbed the bag of white powder from the man, and then started inhaling it as fast as he could.

Mewtwo sighed, and while Brenden was distracted, he quickly smashed the drug dealer's head against the wall. Then he took all the money back, plus some more, and put it in Brenden's wallet.

"Twomew," came a slurred voice from behind him. Mewtwo groaned, turning around. "You dropped your pocket, heheheheheheheh."

"C'mon," Mewtwo growled. "Let's find this friend of yours."

"Friend? I don't have any friendsh. Heeeeeeeyy, would you be my friend?"

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

They were getting a lot of odd looks from locals. Not really at Brenden, they all knew him well. Plus, as one old man said to his wife, it is something that everyone needs to try once.

No, it was Mewtwo drawing the odd looks. No one had ever seen anything like him. Some even wondered if he was a legendary. No, said the old man again, he was definitely created on one o' them newfangled Iphones.

"Brenden?" said a female voice behind him. With a sigh of relief, Mewtwo turned around and dumped the comatose boy at May's feet. "You idiot! I told you to wait for me!"

Brenden looked up woozily. "Duuuuuuude, there's a poptart eating your eeeaar."

"Ummm, okayyyy?" May said, looking down at Brenden with exasperation in her eyes. Then, she looked up at Mewtwo. "You! What did you do to him?" With that, she pimp-slapped him across the face.

"Ow! Hey look, it's not my fault I got caught by the biggest retard on the planet. He thought it was sugar, so he sniffed it all up as fast as he could!"

"Wild May appeared!"

"Go Mewtwo!"

"Wild May used b****-slap."

"Its super-effective!"

"Mewtwo used Plea of Mercy!"

"It's not very effective!"

"Wild May used low kick!"

"Its super-effective!"

"Mewtwo flinched!"

"Go, pokeball!"

"Torchic?"

"Wild May used Screech!"

"It's super-effective!"

"Torchic fainted!"

"Wild May gained 75 exp. points!"

"Wild May grew to level 6!"

"Wild May learned sucker punch!"

"Wild May used sucker punch!"

"It's super-effective!"

"Mewtwo fainted!"

"Wild May gained 999999999999999 exp. points."

"Wild May grew to level 100!"

"Brenden is out of useable Pokémon!"

"Brenden whited out!"

May sighed as she saw the wreckage before her. Brenden was back on the ground drooling. Mewtwo was lying on the ground in a battered heap. Torchic was still face down in the puddle of blood that she had come out in. She sighed as she took Mewtwo and Torchic's pokeballs and returned them. She regretted beating Mewtwo up, he could have helped carry Brenden to his dad's lab. Oh well, she thought as she dragged him along. It was his fault that he took the crack.

Back inside the lab, Prof. Birch surveyed his son. He sighed, this was not the change he had expected. He looked at May. "Care to explain?"

"Well, from what I can tell, some guy sold him what he thought was magical sugar that you inhale through your nose."

"How much money did he waste on that?"

"$500, but Mewtwo robbed it back from the guy."

"Where is this guy now?"

"Bleeding in an alleyway."

"Littleroot doesn't have any alleyways."

"Unfortunately, some nut job fanfic writer needed one, so the space-time continuum bended to fulfill his wishes."

Birch shook his head again. Brenden stirred and sat bolt upright. He looked around the room, but his eyes came to rest on the worst thing ever.

"ARRRGHAMUDKIPIHAVETOKILLIT!" With that, Brenden pulled out a shotgun and soon the room was splattered with mudkip blood. Then he looked around more. "NO A WILD MAY! GO MEWTWO! USE PSYCHIC BLAST!"

"Torchic?"

**A/N and on that note, we'll end this chapter!**

Chapter Three

**A/N Many thanks to my three reviewers. I haven't posted 2 and 3 up yet, so they'll be posted together. Now, on to answering reviews:**

_**Architect of Halo**_**: First reviewer! WOOT WOOT! Thanks a ton, everyone should totally check out Architect's fanfics. Yes, I tried to think of something no one has thought of before. I'm pretty sure I succeeded…**

_**Hatersgonnahate**_**: Glad you reviewed old friend. (I know a whole five or six PMs worth…we've been through thick and thinLOL). Glad you like:)**

_**Celebigirl**_**: I love mocking innocent Pokémon! Don't worry, Torchic gets some more screen time in 2, and even more in 3…although I'm not sure Torchic really wants it…**

**Okay, so there's a poll up on my profile on which legendary Brenden should catch next. I've already got my mind set on a certain grass legend, but if you guys have a better idea be sure to vote!**

**Now onward my friends!**

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

"I'MMA FIRIN' MAH LASAH!" Brenden screamed at the top of his lungs as he swung the barrel of his shotgun around, firing at all the Taillow in the trees. Needless to say he hit none of them, despite the fact that he was using an unchoked barrel with a widespread shot. In fact, he still hadn't figured out how to reload it, and he had accidentally put the safety on. He had, however, managed to hit Torchic. Twice. Needless to say, Torchic was back in its puddle of blood. (**A/N Just a random note here, I just epically failed my Alaskan Hunter Safety course. I know all about guns now, but I couldn't hit the broadside of a barn, let alone an 8-inch target at 25 yards with a .22 Center fire rifle…well, I hit it four times, but the fifth missed entirely. Needless to say, I went home and sulked in my Emo Corner. Arceus I hate my life sometimes.)(A/N Yay, another authors note in the same paragraph. I would just like to thank Nintendo for introducing me to a whole new line of expletives. It's earned me quite a few odd looks from friends, but then again, I'm used to those:))**

"Why me?" May wailed.

"Burn in the distortion world spawn of Darkrai, and then freeze in the waters of Kyogre's wrath!" (**A/N See what I mean? Zekrom, I'm having too much fun with this.**)

"Hey, I challenge you to a Pokémon battle!" It was some little kid with ridiculously short shorts and a yellow T-shirt. He was looking quite nervously at the muzzle of Brenden's gun, which was pointed in his general direction.

"Foolish fool! To think that you could contend with me! Very well, I will stoop so low as to engage you in. Mortal. COMBAAAAAAT!"

"Okay, go (**A/N Would someone mind telling me how to spell "rattatata" It just seems to long when I spell it, but the only thing that looks right is Rattata, but that doesn't seem long enough when I say it!) **Rattata!"

Brenden raised the shotgun to his shoulder, accidentally dislodging the safety. _**BAAANNG!**_ The shot rang out, and Rattata was also face down in a puddle of blood.

"WHHHHHH!" Brenden cackled maniacally in chatspeek while the boy sobbed over the nearly dead body of his Pokémon. "1 pwned u n00b. F001i$h f001, U Re11y th0ugt U $t00d chnce? 1 m $prtn, U wi11 NeVeR DeFeAt Me!"

"Hey," Brenden suddenly changed into thoughtful mode. "I think that last paragraph really took a long time for the author to write. I think we'll end the chapter here!"

"Nooooooooo," wailed May. "At this rate, we won't get to Odale until chapter five!"

**TO BAD SUCKAZ!**

**A/N Okay, this was a little random and fillerish. No, Torchic did not get that much more screen time, but oh well, everybody hates Torchic-right? **

**BTW, take a guess at how many words will be in the story by the time it's finished? Lemme give you a hint: +0006**

Chapter Four

**A/N Noooooo, I have failed you all! I usually operate on the 1000+ words per chapter rule, but I'm over a hundred words short right now. It's the freaken' end of the world!**

**Okay, melodrama over, I'm starting this thing at nearly four in the morning. I might not finish it in time to post with my other chapters today, but hopefully I can manage to hit 4000 words by three of the clock. I still have a life to live you know…sort of…not really…oh forget it, I'm just another person who lives on fanfiction. I may be killing brain cells, but you know what? I'm gonna die happy.**

**By the way, I'm gonna try to put ten random references in each chapter. If you can name all ten, you get an imaginary lollipop. Fail, and Brenden will shoot you with his shotgun…if he can figure out how it works.**

**1 Dragon Ball Z Team Four Star Abridged Reference**

**1 Avatar the Last Airbender Reference**

**1 Naruto Reference**

**7 miscellaneous references, because I'm too d(bleep)mn tired to really care.**

"Yay!" Brenden yelled excitedly. "We're almost to Candy Mountain!"

"Yay," May said halfheartedly. "Hopefully the author won't figure out a way to send us back to Littleroot town."

"Hey you!" Brenden yelled out. "I challenge you to a POKEMON BATTLE! And I'll use my SUPER INDESTRUCTIBLE GENETICALLY MODIFIED NEAR LEGENDARY POKEMON!"

"Um, okay?" Said the guy up ahead. He was dressed very oddly for travelling. He was wearing a ridiculous tuxedo with a bow tie at the top. Not only that, but it was purple. And his hair was grey, not that Brenden could comment about it, seeing as his hair was white.

"Go MEWTWO! PWN th!$ n00b!"

"Holy sh(bleep)t! Why the h(bleep)ll do you have a f(bleep)ckin legendary?"

"If I told you, then I'd have to kill you."

"Tell me! This is a national emergency!"

"Look at me, now back to your men, now back to me. Now look at the sky, now back to your men now back to me…I'm not your man, I'm flipping you off, now back to your men now back to me. Where's Mewtwo? I threw him!"

"Uh, no you didn't."

"Sh(bleep)t."

_SMACK!_

"Brenden, you know better than to use language like that!"

"Wild May used pimp-slap!"

Steven sighed as he looked at the scene before him. He highly doubted he would be able to get Mewtwo away from these children, so he would just have to stick around and make sure no one else was able to do the same.

First however, there was the problem of a battle. By league rules, he couldn't turn down a challenge, however pathetic the challenger might be.

"I think we have a battle to complete?" Steven said quizzically. "Go Metagross!"

"Holy sh-I mean crap-it's a robot!"

May facepalmed, ruing the day she had agreed to escort the Professor's mentally challenged child.

"Since I'm a nice guy, I'll let you have the first move."

Brenden opened the pokedex. "Let's see if Mewtwo has learned any sweet moves."

**Sorry, I'm not available right now. I'm busy.**

"Doing what?" Brenden asked quizzically.

**Making toast.**

There was a dinging noise.

**Buttering toast.**

"Could I see Mewtwo's sweet moves?"

**If it will make you shut up, then he knows Psychic Blast and…Turtle Supremacy Wave?**

"Sweet! Mewtwo, use Turtle Supremacy Wave!"

Mewtwo sighed and launched a beam of white light at the robotic monster ahead of him. It didn't even bother to dodge, taking the hit head on. After the smoke from the explosion cleared, Metagross was still there, looking about as amused as a hunk of metal could be.

**Idiot! Metagross's Gravity Field ability allows it to stand steady through any attack. It cuts the damage done in half, but it also prevents it from using any physical moves. Fortunately, Mewtwo is resistant to any of Metagross's long-range attacks. You'll have to either think up a way to lure it out of its Gravity Field, or you're toast. **

Metagross had twisted on his legs to look back at his master. _Really?_ He said telepathically.

Steven rolled his eyes. "Stupid league rules. Just use defense tactic eighteen to lure him into a false sense of security."

"Hey Steven, you in there? It's your move."

"I've already made mine."

"Oh crap! It's the standing really still technique. Mewtwo, brace yourself! Quick, hit him with a psychic blast."

The explosion once again shook the clearing. Once the smoke cleared, Metagross was still standing there, unscathed.

"Your turn again kid."

"Snap! Yet again, he continues to use the standing really still technique. Quick, use another Turtle Supremacy Wave!"

Once again, another big explosion. Once again, it did absolutely nothing.

"Now, Metagross, unleash your bide attack!"

Metagross glowed white and unleashed all the energy he had absorbed. Needless to say, Brenden was out of useable Pokémon. Brenden whited out.

Looking bored, Steven recalled his Metagross. Both the children had been safely transported back to Littleroot. He sighed as he opened his pokedex to see how much damage had been done to Metagross. To his shock, the kid had brought his strongest Pokémon down to half its hit points. He shook his head, impressed. Maybe the boy would go far, but he would have to learn to stop relying on Mewtwo. He knew how it went with legendaries, he had had one a long time ago. They could break out of pokeballs even after they had been captured. Of course, it took the, a while to do it.

He would have to keep an eye on the boy. Team Rocket would be out to get Mewtwo back, and Aqua and Magma would just as soon capture it as well. If he could get _his_ hands on Mewtwo, then maybe they would stand a chance. Until then, he would just have to make sure no one else did.

(-o-)-(-o-)-(-o-)

Steven returned later to the Odale Pokémon center. After a day of training at a super secret cave that no one was supposed to know about, he was worn out. He checked in and happily collapsed on the pathetic excuse for a mattress. Sleep was quick to come.

_He could see the world turning below him. Suddenly, it zoomed into a desert region to the west of Johto. In it, he could hear rumbling sounds. Suddenly, the black water of an oddly placed lake exploded, unleashing the nightmare that was contained inside of it. _

_The scene shifted, and he was in a huge cavernous hall. He recognized it as the Hall of Origin, and looked up to see Arceus looking down at him. He sighed, bracing himself for yet another session of overdramatic pauses and sudden mood changes. _

"_I'M NOT HAPPY." Arceus thundered. "The monster which I imprisoned inside of The Oddly Placed Black Lake has escaped, and will no doubt be. Wreaking. Havoc. I require your services."_

"_Again? You know, I'm starting to see a pattern here. Massive monster escapes, suddenly more powerful than before, and you come crying to me for help. You know, I'm not always going to be here for you."_

"_That is why you are to train up your successor. As cliché dictates, he must be an absolute amateur, and he must be given only a little amount of training before being thrown up against monsters which you yourself don't stand a chance against. This boy is. The. One. And. Only. Brenden. Birch."_

"_We're screwed." _

"_I trust you are more than capable to give him an inadequate amount of training. Of course, you must allow him to complete the Pokémon league and utterly flatten you in an epic battle. Then you must sacrifice yourself to take a blow that wasn't even going to hit him. Go now, you have much to do."_

Steven woke up, glaring at the ceiling. There was only one thought on his mind: _I hate my life._

**A/N So how's that for plot advancement. I was thinking that Brenden's quest would get a little boring after a while, so I might as well make sure there was actually a plot. And what was better than the stereotypical "save the world, blah blah blah." Plotline. As you can guess, it's no secret that Brenden will succeed in the end. Also, this was over 1000 words, so I've caught up on length. Hooray!**


End file.
